Mahatma Gandhi: India's empty vessel

Sixty one years after his death, the name of Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi still lives on in India. If not in grotesque political campaigns by corrupt leaders, then in Mont Blanc's ostentatious advertising posters. If not in India's currency mints, then in Bollywood movies gaudily celebrating ascetism. And if not in hunger strikes by power hungry politicians, then in temples robbing from the rich and the poor alike.

In one way or another, for right or for wrong, via moral or immoral, the idea of Gandhi-ism still evokes the same sense of respectful consideration in the eyes of Indians. Yet, how many truly understand the basic tenets of Gandhism and what Mahatma Gandhi stood for? How many appreciate his calls against materialism or economic avarice? How many follow his methods of peaceful resistance and self-suffering, and for how long? The sad truth is that while Indians may erect statues of Gandhi at the drop of a hat or recollect his ideals for selfish reasons, they treat the father of the nation as they would an empty vessel--adding and removing from it whatever they see fit for themselves. In doing so, they effectively tarnish the image of India's most beloved national icon.

In this essay, I wanted to re-examine Gandhi's two most basic beliefs. How have Gandhi's ideas been transformed and can the concept of Gandhism survive in today's generation?

On arriving in India from South Africa, Gandhi took his place at the helm of the nationalist movement. Where his compatriots were pushing for the British to vacate India, Gandhi was striving towards a different goal—developing moral thinking. For him, the answer to India’s salvation lay not in the establishment of an independent political system (for that would be akin to “English rule without the English”) which he saw as a secondary goal, but in repairing a social system which encouraged ruthless competition and materialism. Gandhi can best be thought of as an architect who wanted to fill the gaps in a structure’s foundation, not with cement and mortar but with morality and self-respect, before raising its height. Though the name of Gandhi lives on in India, the process to fill gaps and inject morality can barely be found in the abject ostracism and corruption that plagues the country today.

Next, Gandhi believed that the most important goal of nationalists was to carve a distinct identity for the colonized people. To bridge the widening gap between politics and ethics, he suggested a system of “enlightened anarchy” where governance would not occur at the state or central level, but at the grass-root village level. He shunned the idea of a representative democracy, a political system he believed condoned morality, promoted materialism, and lead to an elitist culture which usurped the voice of the larger population (ref: Hind Swaraj written by Gandhi). He believed that if every individual was given the opportunity to rule himself and be self-reliant, there would be no need to force the British out as they would depart by themselves. It was this utopian character of his message that appealed to the Indian masses. Yet, today, Gandhi's name is synonymous with democracy and politics?

Looking ahead, I see the future of Gandhism looking bleak. Or at least, Gandhism as Gandhi would have liked it and not as he would have wanted others to interpret it. Perhaps Gandhi set a bar too high for others to leap over or perhaps his ideas are too impractical to embrace two generations after his death. Whatever the case may be, I believe it is time Indians start taking ownership of their own rules and ideals instead of mutilating those of Gandhi and passing them as their own. Surely, the father of the nation is owed more than that.

Founder's Day 2009: Speech to Parents

Date: Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Venue: Hope Hall Foundation School, New Delhi
Occasion: Founder's Day

Speech to 1800 parents and students at the school. The theme was "Inspirations 2009"
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I’d like to begin by telling you all a short story.

A father would walk his son to school every morning. Every morning, the father and son would pass a beach that would be full of star-fish that had been washed to shore by the tide. And every morning, the son would break away from his father for two minutes, run to the beach and throw a few star-fish into the sea.

One day, as the boy was about to run to the beach, the father impatiently asked the small boy: “What do you think are you doing? “

The boy cheerfully told his father: “Dad, the star-fish need my help! If I don’t throw them into the water, they will die on the sand!”

The father realized his son was right. “But what difference can you make son? There must be thousands and thousands of such fish who die everyday. How many can you save?”

The boy ran to the beach, picked up a star-fish, tossed it into the sea and said: “I just saved that one, Dad!”

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Good evening ladies and gentlemen;

Do you know the benefits of eating green vegetables? Do you know that littering on the roads is not a good thing? Do you know that animals and plants are living things and should not be harmed? And do you know, like the boy in the story, that star-fish will die if they are not kept in water? Don’t worry—if you dont, chances are that your child has the answer to all these questions!

It is not too long ago that I too was a school student, eager to do well in academics and sports; however, I notice a vast difference in today's children. Today, children are not just brighter and smarter than I was…but are also more responsible and caring for those around them. They want to be not just better doctors, scientists and engineers, but also better human beings. So, be it organizing charity drives for the poor or planting trees to help the environment, today’s students are eager to take the first step forward. Like the boy with the star-fish, they are eager to make a difference, even if it is a small one.

This immense passion to be more responsible and to make a difference is a tremendous strength for all of us. It gives us hope that over the next few years, we will have students who are not just doing well in class-rooms, but are also helping make the world a better place. We will have leaders who can empathize with their followers. And that we will have sound citizens who can help move the country forward.

I am often asked about what it is that makes education such an interesting field to be in. Indeed, it is this immense enthusiasm to be more responsible and aware that exists among students, that makes my job and the job of all the teachers in this school as exciting and rewarding as it is.

Today, as we celebrate our Annual Day--Inspirations 2009--I hope we, teachers and parents, can find inspiration from our young heroes. I also hope we can gain some inspiration from our students. We must remember that even the smallest voice can teach the world a song and that sometimes our students can sometimes be our best teachers.

India challenges my definition of ethics time and again

Its been nearly 6 months since I arrived in India from Singapore and I am having a hard time reconciling my standards of ethics with those present in India. Having lived outside the country most of my life, I am also humored, and sometimes distraught, at how my concepts of morality are challenged day in and day out in the country.

Issues which I know to be unethical outside India, are most times the norm within the country. Take corruption for instance. In the extensive traveling I have done around the country recently, in the several conversations I have had with businessmen and students, and in the observation of life around me, I have not met a single individual who didn't pay a bribe at some point in their lives, for some reason or the other. When I inquire of why this is, I get the ever ready sardonic smile: "It is how things get done here." While their remarks made me flinch initially, I now realise how right they may be. Consider a mother who wants to get her son admitted into a school asking for a "donation" or a business-owner who needs his papers processed before the 6 months timeline usually given by the sarkari office. These are problems I have observed and I am often dumbstruck by what I would do if I were in the shoes of that mother or that business-owner. How does a model of ethics survive in a society such as India, where corruption is so ingrained into everyday life?

In the corporate setting, I notice (what I consider) unethical practices being played out day in and day out. These include areas such as exploiting workers by withholding their salaries to carrying out business activities despite clear conflicts of interest. The concept of money laundering and tax evasion in India are also well known of. I often ask myself why this is the case. Are India’s corporate leaders not educated enough in the concepts of business ethics? Are the country’s ethical compliance standards not water-tight enough? Is there no understanding of the malignant chain reaction unethical decisions can lead to?

I believe that the problem in India is that everyone is keen to write their own code of ethics instead of conforming to a prescribed set of rules and regulations. Given the weakness and ineffectiveness of the country's legal system, Indians embark on their own crusades to determine what is right and what wrong, especially for issues that are in the grey. There is also a strong "survival of the fittest" contest being played in the country, where those with the most ingeniously unethical methods to survive prosper. Is it a wonder then that the country's largest industrial house has a shady track record of political graft? Or that most Indian politicians have served at least one prison term before coming to office? For industrialists, entrepreneurs, students and leaders, the idea of dabbling in borderline illegal and clearly unethical behavior is not regarded as shameful or wrong as in countries like Singapore/US. It is, in fact, proudly hailed as 'working the system', a necessary ritual required to get things done effectively.

Further, there is a massive lack of understanding around ethics and morality in India, especially among the common masses. As a student in the US, I remember spending an entire semester discussing concepts of ethics, how they help impact the world around me and my role as a business leader. In the US and Singapore, corporations are also required to hold training sessions for every employee on the corporation’s code of ethics. In India, schools and colleges pay little attention to issues around moral culpability, nor do corporations dedicate resources to training employees.

Perhaps my ideas of ethics, derived from living in two highly developed countries and working in a highly regulated industry, are unfair to apply immediately to India. Even as I tone down my expectations, however, I am left wondering whether things will improve over time or whether a culture that is so beset with a disregard for ideas of ethics (again, I acknowledge that the concept of ethics may be alien to Indians) can be improved and educated. I believe we should bank our hopes on the later; after which, only time will tell.

Parents above 60 are morally obliged to write a will

From sending their children to the best of schools to hoarding expensive jewelry for their marriages, parents around the world take every possible measure to ensure a smooth life for their children. Yet, most parents around the world skip a crucial step in this regard, despite their best intentions--the writing of a will--and consequently plunge their kin into several months (and sometimes, several years) of clueless wrechedness. I believe parents above the age of 60 are morally obliged to write a will for their children.

There are several reasons, I think, for why wills are not written by so many parents or why children do not broach the topic with their parents. In conservative societies like India, it could simply be the taboo surrounding discussions around inheritance and successorship. There could also be sheer ignorance or laziness on the parts of parents: The "we will do it when we come to it" syndrome. Next, there is lack of information on will-writing and its usefulness among several parents that prevents them from drafting a will. Finally, there could be a reliance by parents on their country or society's legal norms: "Things will be done as they should be done" syndrome.

There are several reasons why wills are useful; however, I believe the most important of these is the mental and emotional trauma that successors do not have to endure in the settlement of an estate. Most of our parents have been through a similar fate, victims of an era where wills and property settlements were not well dispersed knowledge, and our generation can appreciate the tremendous need for a systematic process for inheritance rights.

Today, wills can be written independently or with the help of trained estate lawyers. I dont agree that wills should only be written by millionaires looking to leave behind their belongings to salivating successors. Rather, wills should be written even by ordinary men and women who possess the slightest bit of money or property. As these individuals can themselves testify, even paltry items can become issues of contention between relatives.

Save your kids the trauma. Write them a will. Especially if you are more than 60 years of age.

Kolkata exemplifies timelessness

Have you ever wondered what it might be like to step into a land where time stands still, where history exudes from every nook and crany, and where each resident has an eternal bond with the city? If so, a visit to Kolkata will most likely satiate your curiosity and leave you, like it did me, impressed, enlightened and touched. I spent 3 days meeting with family and friends in the city a week ago and I am already yearning to be back!

Kolkata first strikes home its historic charm--though many may validly classify this as a menace--via its clumsy, yellow Ambassador taxis, eagerly awaiting hapless travelers outside the airport. The city too is overflowing with these ugly, smoke-belching machines, usually driven by happy-go-lucky drivers with the yogic attitude to care little for material things, human or machines, in their line of sight. Ambassadors are one of India's oldest automobiles, extinct in all parts of the country save Kolkata. It is said that the car manufacturers struck a clever deal with the city's Marxist rulers: Use Ambassador cars! I am unsure of what the government received in the bargain, however, and I wonder if any prize would be large enough to forego the freedom of safety and adornment that these cars compromise.

Next, the city's traffic flow also suggests that fellow drivers in Kolkata share a psychic connection with each other--for even as a rickshaw swerves dangerously towards a hurtling truck in order to avoid a pedestrian, the truck driver calmly steers his vehicle into a calculated turn, avoiding a catastrophe. The scene, which repeats itself hundreds of times each day, is akin to an airshow where two fighter pilots smoothly move in unision while flying extremely close to each other. This spirit of camraderie and mutual understanding makes Kolkata even more special.

Approaching the city, hundreds of historic buildings greet a visitor, lending Kolkata an unmistakable air of both importance and neglect; for where many well-maintained sites such as Victoria Memorial underscore the roots of power present in the city, others like the sagging Tata Steel building suggest that Kolkata might simply have lost its influence since the British Raj. Yet, it would be premature to classify Kolkata as a waning star. The seamless integration of a modern culture into the ancient infrastructure of Kolkata is truly awe-inspiring and testifies the spirit of ingenuity and creativity the Bengalis are renowned for. Residents have converted charming old cottages into modern mansions. Merchants continue to rent commercial space in medieval structures of the but have installed air-conditioning systems in their shops. The government has not torn down British era alleys and galis, barely wide enough for a modern car to pass through, but has implemented one-way driving regulations to keep traffic smooth. It is no wonder then that Kolkata finds precedence in the itineraries of history lovers while attracting contemporary artists and entrepreneurs alike.

More than anything else, it is the people of the 'City of Joy' that makes Kolkata such a special place. Unlike those of New Delhi or Mumbai, the residents of Kolkata maintain their ageless cultural identity despite embracing the winds of modern and liberal thought. Consider the Indian director who writes his notes while observing by-passers from the windows of Floury's, a colonial-era cafe; or a student who reads classic literature and particular physics while attending La Martinere School, a school founded in 1836. Even among the friends and family I visited, there is an ineffable sense of reverence for family values in the face of independent thinking and liberalism. There is my Western educated and corporate minded uncle who prefers living with his parents and there is my GenX friend who returns home at an appropriate hour even as she attends a late-night get-together. This blend of modernity and tradition, which I had found inconceivable previously, gives Kolkata a characteristic air of warmth.

As India hurtles towards Westernism and individuality, Kolkata's tacit old-world persona reminds us of the country's past, glorious and terrible, and stands as a ready beacon for anyone wanting to call the city home. For travelers in need of fresh perspective, for families seeking reunions or for writers needing inspiration, Kolkata should be high on the list of places to visit next.

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To all those in Kolkata who made my visit there so fabulous: Thank you!

Death has a charm of its own

As Socrates, the Classical Greek philosopher, lay dying after being poisoned by hemlock, he uttered words whose meaning few of us grasp even today: "The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways--I to die, and you to live. Which is better God only knows."

Since the dawn of mankind, nothing has incited as much fear and suspense in our species as the idea of death. From the Bible, which portrayed death as a result of sin ("For the wages of sin is death" Romans 6:23a), to the structure of modern society, which views death as one of the most gripping tragedies to befall families, our perspectives have been shaped to believe that death is an extremely terrible thing. Yet, what do we know about death? What happens when we die? Why are we programmed to hold on so dearly to a life we cannot compare with another form of existence?

Why are we so afraid to discuss an inevitablity analogous to the rising of the sun or the crashing of the waves on the beaches? What do you think? Dont you think we could live more productive lives knowing that our end is near?

I wanted to share a beautiful quote I read this morning. Though the author, Charles Dickens, describes the condition of death, his words make you appreciate the irony of life.

"Alas! How few of Nature's faces are left alone to gladden us with their beauty! The cares, and sorrows, and hungerings, of the world, change them as they change hearts; and it is only when those passions sleep, and have lost their hold for ever, that the troubled clouds pass off, and leave Heaven's surface clear. It is a common thing for the countenances of the dead, even in that fixed and rigid state, to subside into the long-forgotten expression of sleeping infancy, and settle into the very look of early life; so calm, so peaceful, do they grow again, that those who knew them in their happy childhood, kneel by the coffin's side in awe, and see the Angel even upon death"
Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

Child labor should not be banned in India

Hi all,

Apologies for being out of commission for a month. I was busy working on my grad school applications and was on a short break with family. My next entry is a 2-part entry because I feel I have a lot to say and because the issue I am examining is slightly complex. As always, I encourage you all to post your thoughts and ideas and turn this into more of an interactive discussion.

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I was 16 when I first met Chottu, a nine year old with a missing row of teeth who came to work for our family, and I remember being very confused when he first smiled at me. Not only was I staunchly against child labor, I also had little regard for the kind of work someone his age could really do. Yet, on noticing his emaciated body and the desperate need for money that his uncle sniffled of when parting with Chottu, I realized a job could do him some good. Over the eight months that he worked with us, Chottu became not just a keener worker, but also a healthier boy, a student of English (which my sister taught him), a happier person and a member of our family. My next 2 blog entries, supporting child labor, is based largely off my experience living with Chottu.

Part 1: Right to education?

In an ideal world, I would have liked to have Chottu studying in the school where I currently work, empowering his mind and trying to rise out of terrible poverty. Despite government grants to families whose children attend public schools, Chottu missed out on ever seeing a classroom in his village. Instead, his parents cruelly planted him at the age of six to plow their fields and tend to the livestock. The reason was simple: in a gross oversight, the government continued paying his family a grant even though Chottu was not attending school. A policy meant to keep poor children in school was backfiring by sending them to work in the baking hot fields. The reason? India's infamous bureaucracy (which makes problem identification harder), corruption, and simply, negligence.

Lets even suppose poor families are sending their children to school for reasons other than money. The quality of functional literacy provided to such children is minimal at best. Asia Child Rights, an NGO, reports that India's public schools are sparse in number as well as quality (read more here). Teachers are frequently absent, educational supplies are missing and, in some cases, social taboos prevent girls from being sent to school. Is a sub-standard education for such a student more valuable than a job that can fill her stomach? Using little argument around morality and answering this question with pure common sense, I say: not really.

Today, India has the world's second largest population and is rapidly growing into an economic nightmare for employment pundits. The CIA reports India's current unemployment rate as 7.2%. For the uninitiated, unemployment rates are based on adults more than 18 years of age who have been actively seeking a job for the last 3 months. In India, where a majority of the population resides in villages and does not have access to census bureaus or employment offices to report unemployment (unlike in developed nations), this number is bound to be much higher. My point is simply that despite the high economic growth India has experienced over the past decade, there are too many people to fill too little jobs. What is the incentive for a poor family to send their child for a basic education only to have him flounder around later for a job? Economically and practically, this is a bad proposition.

It is therefore important to appreciate such issues surrounding child education in India before brushing child labor off as a malignant phenomena that needs to be urgently done away with. When India's system of carrot and stick are not functioning in the favor of child education, child labor becomes a necessary method to survive.

Arranged marriages in India need to be AIDS-proof

"It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS. No one should die, however, of ignorance."
-Elizabeth Taylor

According to a UNICEF report from 2007, India ranks third in the number of HIV infections as a percentage of total population. The report conspiciously footnotes that such estimates are based on often inaccurate government statistics and word of mouth--for few people in India find reporting HIV cases useful--and that actual number of HIV cases in India are probably far higher. This is a very serious problem highlighted by the fact that even urgent remedies, if applied, would be considered too little, too late, especially as India's population burgeons out of control.

The term silent killer by which HIV-AIDS is often referred to applies aptly to describe the spread of the disease in India. Not only does the inherent nature of the ailment cause it to spread from person to person surreptiously, preventing detection; moral and social taboos against the disease prevent people from speaking up about it, spreading awareness and preventing transmission. The Indian arranged marriage is a social institution plagued by such moral taboos and the one requiring a considerable, but manageable, overhaul to make India resilient to the spread of HIV-AIDS.

It is because of this that I believe arranged marriages in India should emphasize the use of pre-marriage health certificates. If caste and cultural compatability are considered an important parts of a marriage, health compatability should be considered paramount. There are several useful pieces of information a couple should be aware of before tying the knot. The presence of the HIV virus, which I am focusing on today, is only one such piece of information.

That HIV transmission needs to be controlled is a well-established fact for all the readers of this blog. It is not an area I will delve into. Instead, I would like to disprove two severely mistaken beliefs I have heard on why arranged marriages in India should not be more transparent with regard to HIV-AIDS.

As a side-note, I would like this blog to be more about arguing and commenting, and I request all readers to post some thoughts on this sensitive, but important, topic.

Belief 1: Presence of HIV in a prospective partner is immoral as it is a sign of sexual relations before marriage, a taboo in Indian society
There are several counter-arguments to this belief. Even before I dive into those, we all need to be clear that HIV can spread through several methods other than unprotected sex. Think of unsuspecting patients who are given old injections in India's ailing government hospitals? Think of children born with the virus because their mothers were infected? HIV positive patients are no less moral, and prejudice against such patients is being short-sighted and ignorant. For the sake of this argument, lets suppose it was sexual relations before marriage which led to HIV.

So what? Does that give the infectee the right to transmit the virus to another uninfected person? Does it give him/her the right to transmit the virus to an offspring (ref: UNICEF reports India as having the highest rate of HIV transmission from mother to child)? Though such transmission by an infectee are considered outright crimes in Western societies, as reported by MSNBC, Indians would do well to merely appreciate the ethical repurcussions of non-disclosure seriously before attributing their silence to societal taboos. Disclosing life-threatening information from a prospective spouse is an ancient tradition that needs to be immediately shattered.

As a last point on this issue, Indians need to realise that pre-marital sex is a reality which needs to be embraced rather than shunned. A country's social beliefs need to evolve with the pace of the world around it. As India walks into an era where taboos against pre-marital relationships melt and where pre-marital sex becomes the norm rather than the exception, the country's social taboos are best left behind.

Belief 2: Greater transparency on HIV pre-marriage means denying HIV infectees the right to marry or love
Firstly, the decision to marry is a mutual agreement and I argue that HIV infectees possess all rights to marry. Their only obligation is to disclose to their potential partner that they are infected, a kind of caveat vendor. The decision to marry after knowledge of the infection is upto the uninfected partner.

Secondly, HIV positive patients can rely on several reputed NGO's within India to help them find a prospective match with other HIV positive people. Such NGO's cater to several castes, income groups and social classes, ensuring even socially conservative Indians the chance to find themselves an acceptable partner.

Lastly, it is important to underscore the ethical considerations of non-disclosure by HIV infectees. A relationship based on mistrust and lack of transparency between partners is not expected to be highly successful. Thus, the claim that disclosure would prevent HIV infectees to find love or marriage makes me question whether non-disclosure would help HIV infectees find successful marriages or enter healthy relationships. I doubt so.

The onus of controlling the transmission of the deadly HIV virus falls, inadvertently, on the youth of the country. Despite education, however, there remain several social obstacles to accomplishing much-needed improvements in health awareness that remain neglected. If each of us can start to spread the message of how HIV spreads, what methods can be used to prevent this proliferation and how we can help those infected, we can truly make a big difference in a small way.

Traveling alone is a magical experience

It was not until I backpacked solo to the temples of Siem Reap, Cambodia that I realised what it really meant to have "a rush". Though I had given adventure sports like skydiving and white-water rafting, and death-defying roller-coaster parks like Six Flags and Universal Studios a shot, the unique mixture of apprehension, excitement, awe and elation that traveling alone brought to me was unimitable. Also, where adventure sports or roller-coasters provided a few minutes of adrenaline pumping action, traveling alone offered me full days of heady pleasure. Probably the best thing I liked about the experience, however; was how, instead of allowing a stranger to pull the parachute strings or a track to guide the roller-coaster, I was in-charge to do as I pleased, when I pleased and how I pleased. For every person with time to spare and money to invest, traveling solo is an activity that should receive serious thought.

To start off, I must underscore the importance of the word "alone". Not only do I refer to traveling without any company, be it alleged soul-mates, friends, pets or acquaintances, I also refer to traveling without a sense of familiarity or commitments. The destination for a solo journey is an important part of planning the trip. The more unfamiliar you are with a place of interest, the more adventurous it is guaranteed to be. What fun would it be for someone living in New York to travel to Boston? Or for someone who has been to Seoul to visit the city again? By unfamiliar, as a note of caution, I do not suggest that a traveler not plan or research the place of interest (for there is a distinct pleasure in reading about a place and then imagining yourself there), but simply that the traveler not play it safe with choosing the destination. Equally important, apart from destination, is the lack of other commitments such as office assignments, Blackberrys, relationship dramas and soap operas. Since the purpose of a solo trip is to engage whole-heartedly with your place of interest, such distractions are best left at home. A trip without commitments will clear your mind to tackle any such commitments with more vigor and enthusiasm once you return. I guarantee it!

Traveling solo is a unique adventure for many reasons.

Firstly, it teaches you things you can never learn otherwise; most importantly about yourself. Traveling alone exposes you to a new world of uncertainty and excitement which ultimately requires you to, explicitly or implicitly, consult with your value-system and make a move. It stretches you, at times, beyond your comfort limit and pushes you to evaluate "what am I comfortable with?" or "where do I draw the line?". Take a scene in a local bazaar for instance. How would you bargain with a local salesman? Which stalls do you visit by yourself? What are you immediately attracted to? The permutations and combinations for what you do and how you do it are endless, and it is ultimately upto you to figure out what to do next. Think of the journey as test driving yourself. The experiences and memories of your trip will be your fondest ever, particularly for this journey of self discovery.

Meeting new people is another great feature of solo travel. I recall chatting with a Japanese archaeologist who was renovating the Ta Som temple complex, a Cambodian girl of about eight who defeated me thrice at a game of noughts & crosses after I refused to buy souveneir post-cards from her and a perverted American slob who followed middle-aged women around temples. Each encounter offers you tit-bits of information or act as windows to a seperate world. The Japanese girl told me how deeply involved the Indian Government is with restoration work in Cambodian temples and Japanese monuments, a fact that left me walking a little taller. The Cambodian girl taught me how futile it is engaging in circular logic with children in poor countries, who sharpen their skills to ensure survival. Not only did I lose in noughts & crosses, I also ended up buying the post-cards out of embarassment. And the American? He just made me realise how lucky I was not to be a middle-aged woman.

The best part about traveling alone is the sense of control you have over what you want to do and how you want to do it. There is no boss asking you to conform to a particular format, no spouse telling you to behave in a certain manner and no norms requiring you to conduct yourself accordingly. The ability to make the smallest of decisions, many of which are affected by other people or by social norms in everyday lives, is an intoxicating power. I decided to commute around Siem Reap on the back of a motorcycle and eat Thai food everyday at every meal, luxuries I would probably not enjoy if I had traveled with family (who prefer cars) or friends (who prefer variety).

I can emphatize with travelers who are hesitant to travel alone because they are either scared of boring themselves or apprehensive of how their trip will be; afterall, I was in the same boat as them before I took off for Cambodia. Well researched trips, where you plan the key attractions to see and the approximate number of days to stay, can alleviate the fear of boredom. It is also very hard to get bored as a tourist in a brand new place. Your hotel desk, your taxi driver and your destination guide will always have something interesting to offer you. As for being apprehensive about how the trip will go, there really is no way to find out till you take the plunge. It is this leap of faith that makes solo travel as exciting as it is.

Finally, there is no age to travel alone nor is there any particular time of life when you should consider going. Rather, you should do it as soon as you can take the time off and muster the required enthusiasm, for the only thing you will regret is not going sooner.