Monday, August 31, 2009

Arranged marriages in India need to be AIDS-proof

"It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS. No one should die, however, of ignorance."
-Elizabeth Taylor

According to a UNICEF report from 2007, India ranks third in the number of HIV infections as a percentage of total population. The report conspiciously footnotes that such estimates are based on often inaccurate government statistics and word of mouth--for few people in India find reporting HIV cases useful--and that actual number of HIV cases in India are probably far higher. This is a very serious problem highlighted by the fact that even urgent remedies, if applied, would be considered too little, too late, especially as India's population burgeons out of control.

The term
silent killer by which HIV-AIDS is often referred to applies aptly to describe the spread of the disease in India. Not only does the inherent nature of the ailment cause it to spread from person to person surreptiously, preventing detection; moral and social taboos against the disease prevent people from speaking up about it, spreading awareness and preventing transmission. The Indian arranged marriage is a social institution plagued by such moral taboos and the one requiring a considerable, but manageable, overhaul to make India resilient to the spread of HIV-AIDS.

It is because of this that I believe arranged marriages in India should emphasize the use of pre-marriage health certificates. If caste and cultural compatability are considered an important parts of a marriage, health compatability should be considered paramount. There are several useful pieces of information a couple should be aware of before tying the knot. The presence of the HIV virus, which I am focusing on today, is only one such piece of information.


That HIV transmission needs to be controlled is a well-established fact for all the readers of this blog. It is not an area I will delve into. Instead, I would like to disprove two severely mistaken beliefs I have heard on why arranged marriages in India should not be more transparent with regard to HIV-AIDS.

As a side-note, I would like this blog to be more about arguing and commenting, and I request all readers to post some thoughts on this sensitive, but important, topic.

Belief 1: Presence of HIV in a prospective partner is immoral as it is a sign of sexual relations before marriage, a taboo in Indian society
There are several counter-arguments to this belief. Even before I dive into those, we all need to be clear that HIV can spread through several methods other than unprotected sex. Think of unsuspecting patients who are given old injections in India's ailing government hospitals? Think of children born with the virus because their mothers were infected? HIV positive patients are no less moral, and prejudice against such patients is being short-sighted and ignorant. For the sake of this argument, lets suppose it was sexual relations before marriage which led to HIV.

So what? Does that give the infectee the right to transmit the virus to another uninfected person? Does it give him/her the right to transmit the virus to an offspring (ref: UNICEF reports India as having the highest rate of HIV transmission from mother to child)? Though such transmission by an infectee are considered outright crimes in Western societies, as reported by MSNBC, Indians would do well to merely appreciate the ethical repurcussions of non-disclosure seriously before attributing their silence to societal taboos. Disclosing life-threatening information from a prospective spouse is an ancient tradition that needs to be immediately shattered.

As a last point on this issue, Indians need to realise that pre-marital sex is a reality which needs to be embraced rather than shunned. A country's social beliefs need to evolve with the pace of the world around it. As India walks into an era where taboos against pre-marital relationships melt and where pre-marital sex becomes the norm rather than the exception, the country's social taboos are best left behind.

Belief 2: Greater transparency on HIV pre-marriage means denying HIV infectees the right to marry or love
Firstly, the decision to marry is a mutual agreement and I argue that HIV infectees possess all rights to marry. Their only obligation is to disclose to their potential partner that they are infected, a kind of caveat vendor. The decision to marry after knowledge of the infection is upto the uninfected partner.

Secondly, HIV positive patients can rely on several reputed NGO's within India to help them find a prospective match with other HIV positive people. Such NGO's cater to several castes, income groups and social classes, ensuring even socially conservative Indians the chance to find themselves an acceptable partner.

Lastly, it is important to underscore the ethical considerations of non-disclosure by HIV infectees. A relationship based on mistrust and lack of transparency between partners is not expected to be highly successful. Thus, the claim that disclosure would prevent HIV infectees to find love or marriage makes me question whether non-disclosure would help HIV infectees find
successful marriages or enter healthy relationships. I doubt so.

The onus of controlling the transmission of the deadly HIV virus falls, inadvertently, on the youth of the country. Despite education, however, there remain several social obstacles to accomplishing much-needed improvements in health awareness that remain neglected. If each of us can start to spread the message of how HIV spreads, what methods can be used to prevent this proliferation and how we can help those infected, we can truly make a big difference in a small way.

6 comments:

  1. I agree with the sentiments of your post completely, but I think that requiring health certificates brings in the government to yet another aspect of life, which I think is unneccesary. At some point individuals need to take personal responsibility for their wellbeing.

    If health is valuable, as any sensible individual will admit that it is, sharing results of STD tests and other medical information should be a part of the arranging process of the arrangement of the arranged marriage. Indeed, there is anecdotal evidence that this is being implemented with pundits asking for blood test results along with janam patris.

    Finally, awareness about STDs and STD testing can be spread by NGOs. There are several such organizations that work with truck drivers in India and the LGBT population elsewhere that conduct free and anyonymous STD testing. I suspect that promoting these in Indian colleges and other public spaces will drastically increase the rate of detection and facilitate dialogue about STDs.

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  2. I agree very strongly with what you and Akshay Bhaiya have to say.
    However i feel, as you noted yourself,since pre-marital sex has become the norm in our fast paced generation, STD testing should be a precaution followed prior to any intimate physical contact. It should be noted that most people tested HIV positive never knew about their condition themselves, forget trying to deceive their partners. Thus, for self health reasons STD checkups should be mandatory.
    I also believe that the misconception between being tested HIV positive and having AIDS along with methods by which the disease spreads should be cleared,which again comes from increased awareness of the disease, so that people are not ostracized due to their illness.
    After that, it is only time before the illness can be completely eradicated.

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  3. I strongly recommend the exchange of health certificate before finalizing the marriage. From then on it is upto each individual to decide if he or she may want to go ahead with the marriage or not!! I know of a couple where the wife suffered from brain tumor before marriage and this was hidden from the husband. After marriage the wife suffered immensely due to her illness which she kept hidden but ultimately in sometime the husband came to know about it. The grief he felt on being cheated was immense and the mental harrasment he went through in nursing his wife was tremendous. This also strained his relation with his in-laws whom he held responsible for not telling him before wedding about the girl's illness. It should be made mandatory for all to produce health certificates at the time of arranging marriages so that it is not considered out of norm.It should be made compulsory. There may be few kind hearted soul who may be moved to marry people and nurse them back to health but then it is entirely their choice. Yet again we know many in india can buy fake health certificates. Welcome to the KALYUG!!!

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  4. Gr8 to see ur blog. U r bringing in good topics. Well as far as this is concerned, its all civic sense and individuals conscious which will help. More regulations bring more revolts. If we just educate and make the population aware, we can help.

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  5. Yeah Maybe ppl don't realise How ignorance is one of the most effective ways of spreading AIDS.
    And yeah I feel the only way to change this as far as marraiges are concerned is to make people realise that THIS is very important, Far more important than other stuff (religious or otherwise) that is taken into great consideration before match fixing.And to remove that Myth that this only happens to other ppl.

    And I guess TV would be the best media . Along with Adds about AIDS a special campaign Speaking only about 'Aids visavis Marriage' would give a more direct message to the people who need it.

    As far as hiding facts about your health from your partener before marraige goes, These are personal choices and such sneakiness is prevelant everywhere HOWEVER when this 'personal choice' actually affects the health of an unborn child (a child who gets aids due to this) THEN I think its safe to say that taking LEGAL action against such a person who knows he/she has aids and has still gone ahead to marry an unsuspecting person and beared a child with them, Is very much needed. Its like murder for that child and the unsuspecting partner.

    And for ppl who are not aware that they have the hiv virus, a greater awareness of how easily this virus can spread can make them think and realise it in time before they unknowingly spread it to others.

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  6. Find lingayat matches on Matchfinder lingayath matrimony portal.

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