"It is bad enough that people are dying of AIDS. No one should die, however, of ignorance."
-Elizabeth Taylor
According to a UNICEF report from 2007, India ranks third in the number of HIV infections as a percentage of total population. The report conspiciously footnotes that such estimates are based on often inaccurate government statistics and word of mouth--for few people in India find reporting HIV cases useful--and that actual number of HIV cases in India are probably far higher. This is a very serious problem highlighted by the fact that even urgent remedies, if applied, would be considered too little, too late, especially as India's population burgeons out of control.
The term silent killer by which HIV-AIDS is often referred to applies aptly to describe the spread of the disease in India. Not only does the inherent nature of the ailment cause it to spread from person to person surreptiously, preventing detection; moral and social taboos against the disease prevent people from speaking up about it, spreading awareness and preventing transmission. The Indian arranged marriage is a social institution plagued by such moral taboos and the one requiring a considerable, but manageable, overhaul to make India resilient to the spread of HIV-AIDS.
It is because of this that I believe arranged marriages in India should emphasize the use of pre-marriage health certificates. If caste and cultural compatability are considered an important parts of a marriage, health compatability should be considered paramount. There are several useful pieces of information a couple should be aware of before tying the knot. The presence of the HIV virus, which I am focusing on today, is only one such piece of information.
That HIV transmission needs to be controlled is a well-established fact for all the readers of this blog. It is not an area I will delve into. Instead, I would like to disprove two severely mistaken beliefs I have heard on why arranged marriages in India should not be more transparent with regard to HIV-AIDS.
As a side-note, I would like this blog to be more about arguing and commenting, and I request all readers to post some thoughts on this sensitive, but important, topic.
Belief 1: Presence of HIV in a prospective partner is immoral as it is a sign of sexual relations before marriage, a taboo in Indian society
There are several counter-arguments to this belief. Even before I dive into those, we all need to be clear that HIV can spread through several methods other than unprotected sex. Think of unsuspecting patients who are given old injections in India's ailing government hospitals? Think of children born with the virus because their mothers were infected? HIV positive patients are no less moral, and prejudice against such patients is being short-sighted and ignorant. For the sake of this argument, lets suppose it was sexual relations before marriage which led to HIV.
So what? Does that give the infectee the right to transmit the virus to another uninfected person? Does it give him/her the right to transmit the virus to an offspring (ref: UNICEF reports India as having the highest rate of HIV transmission from mother to child)? Though such transmission by an infectee are considered outright crimes in Western societies, as reported by MSNBC, Indians would do well to merely appreciate the ethical repurcussions of non-disclosure seriously before attributing their silence to societal taboos. Disclosing life-threatening information from a prospective spouse is an ancient tradition that needs to be immediately shattered.
As a last point on this issue, Indians need to realise that pre-marital sex is a reality which needs to be embraced rather than shunned. A country's social beliefs need to evolve with the pace of the world around it. As India walks into an era where taboos against pre-marital relationships melt and where pre-marital sex becomes the norm rather than the exception, the country's social taboos are best left behind.
Belief 2: Greater transparency on HIV pre-marriage means denying HIV infectees the right to marry or love
Firstly, the decision to marry is a mutual agreement and I argue that HIV infectees possess all rights to marry. Their only obligation is to disclose to their potential partner that they are infected, a kind of caveat vendor. The decision to marry after knowledge of the infection is upto the uninfected partner.
Secondly, HIV positive patients can rely on several reputed NGO's within India to help them find a prospective match with other HIV positive people. Such NGO's cater to several castes, income groups and social classes, ensuring even socially conservative Indians the chance to find themselves an acceptable partner.
Lastly, it is important to underscore the ethical considerations of non-disclosure by HIV infectees. A relationship based on mistrust and lack of transparency between partners is not expected to be highly successful. Thus, the claim that disclosure would prevent HIV infectees to find love or marriage makes me question whether non-disclosure would help HIV infectees find successful marriages or enter healthy relationships. I doubt so.
The onus of controlling the transmission of the deadly HIV virus falls, inadvertently, on the youth of the country. Despite education, however, there remain several social obstacles to accomplishing much-needed improvements in health awareness that remain neglected. If each of us can start to spread the message of how HIV spreads, what methods can be used to prevent this proliferation and how we can help those infected, we can truly make a big difference in a small way.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Traveling alone is a magical experience
It was not until I backpacked solo to the temples of Siem Reap, Cambodia that I realised what it really meant to have "a rush". Though I had given adventure sports like skydiving and white-water rafting, and death-defying roller-coaster parks like Six Flags and Universal Studios a shot, the unique mixture of apprehension, excitement, awe and elation that traveling alone brought to me was unimitable. Also, where adventure sports or roller-coasters provided a few minutes of adrenaline pumping action, traveling alone offered me full days of heady pleasure. Probably the best thing I liked about the experience, however; was how, instead of allowing a stranger to pull the parachute strings or a track to guide the roller-coaster, I was in-charge to do as I pleased, when I pleased and how I pleased. For every person with time to spare and money to invest, traveling solo is an activity that should receive serious thought.
To start off, I must underscore the importance of the word "alone". Not only do I refer to traveling without any company, be it alleged soul-mates, friends, pets or acquaintances, I also refer to traveling without a sense of familiarity or commitments. The destination for a solo journey is an important part of planning the trip. The more unfamiliar you are with a place of interest, the more adventurous it is guaranteed to be. What fun would it be for someone living in New York to travel to Boston? Or for someone who has been to Seoul to visit the city again? By unfamiliar, as a note of caution, I do not suggest that a traveler not plan or research the place of interest (for there is a distinct pleasure in reading about a place and then imagining yourself there), but simply that the traveler not play it safe with choosing the destination. Equally important, apart from destination, is the lack of other commitments such as office assignments, Blackberrys, relationship dramas and soap operas. Since the purpose of a solo trip is to engage whole-heartedly with your place of interest, such distractions are best left at home. A trip without commitments will clear your mind to tackle any such commitments with more vigor and enthusiasm once you return. I guarantee it!
Traveling solo is a unique adventure for many reasons.
Firstly, it teaches you things you can never learn otherwise; most importantly about yourself. Traveling alone exposes you to a new world of uncertainty and excitement which ultimately requires you to, explicitly or implicitly, consult with your value-system and make a move. It stretches you, at times, beyond your comfort limit and pushes you to evaluate "what am I comfortable with?" or "where do I draw the line?". Take a scene in a local bazaar for instance. How would you bargain with a local salesman? Which stalls do you visit by yourself? What are you immediately attracted to? The permutations and combinations for what you do and how you do it are endless, and it is ultimately upto you to figure out what to do next. Think of the journey as test driving yourself. The experiences and memories of your trip will be your fondest ever, particularly for this journey of self discovery.
Meeting new people is another great feature of solo travel. I recall chatting with a Japanese archaeologist who was renovating the Ta Som temple complex, a Cambodian girl of about eight who defeated me thrice at a game of noughts & crosses after I refused to buy souveneir post-cards from her and a perverted American slob who followed middle-aged women around temples. Each encounter offers you tit-bits of information or act as windows to a seperate world. The Japanese girl told me how deeply involved the Indian Government is with restoration work in Cambodian temples and Japanese monuments, a fact that left me walking a little taller. The Cambodian girl taught me how futile it is engaging in circular logic with children in poor countries, who sharpen their skills to ensure survival. Not only did I lose in noughts & crosses, I also ended up buying the post-cards out of embarassment. And the American? He just made me realise how lucky I was not to be a middle-aged woman.
The best part about traveling alone is the sense of control you have over what you want to do and how you want to do it. There is no boss asking you to conform to a particular format, no spouse telling you to behave in a certain manner and no norms requiring you to conduct yourself accordingly. The ability to make the smallest of decisions, many of which are affected by other people or by social norms in everyday lives, is an intoxicating power. I decided to commute around Siem Reap on the back of a motorcycle and eat Thai food everyday at every meal, luxuries I would probably not enjoy if I had traveled with family (who prefer cars) or friends (who prefer variety).
I can emphatize with travelers who are hesitant to travel alone because they are either scared of boring themselves or apprehensive of how their trip will be; afterall, I was in the same boat as them before I took off for Cambodia. Well researched trips, where you plan the key attractions to see and the approximate number of days to stay, can alleviate the fear of boredom. It is also very hard to get bored as a tourist in a brand new place. Your hotel desk, your taxi driver and your destination guide will always have something interesting to offer you. As for being apprehensive about how the trip will go, there really is no way to find out till you take the plunge. It is this leap of faith that makes solo travel as exciting as it is.
Finally, there is no age to travel alone nor is there any particular time of life when you should consider going. Rather, you should do it as soon as you can take the time off and muster the required enthusiasm, for the only thing you will regret is not going sooner.
To start off, I must underscore the importance of the word "alone". Not only do I refer to traveling without any company, be it alleged soul-mates, friends, pets or acquaintances, I also refer to traveling without a sense of familiarity or commitments. The destination for a solo journey is an important part of planning the trip. The more unfamiliar you are with a place of interest, the more adventurous it is guaranteed to be. What fun would it be for someone living in New York to travel to Boston? Or for someone who has been to Seoul to visit the city again? By unfamiliar, as a note of caution, I do not suggest that a traveler not plan or research the place of interest (for there is a distinct pleasure in reading about a place and then imagining yourself there), but simply that the traveler not play it safe with choosing the destination. Equally important, apart from destination, is the lack of other commitments such as office assignments, Blackberrys, relationship dramas and soap operas. Since the purpose of a solo trip is to engage whole-heartedly with your place of interest, such distractions are best left at home. A trip without commitments will clear your mind to tackle any such commitments with more vigor and enthusiasm once you return. I guarantee it!
Traveling solo is a unique adventure for many reasons.
Firstly, it teaches you things you can never learn otherwise; most importantly about yourself. Traveling alone exposes you to a new world of uncertainty and excitement which ultimately requires you to, explicitly or implicitly, consult with your value-system and make a move. It stretches you, at times, beyond your comfort limit and pushes you to evaluate "what am I comfortable with?" or "where do I draw the line?". Take a scene in a local bazaar for instance. How would you bargain with a local salesman? Which stalls do you visit by yourself? What are you immediately attracted to? The permutations and combinations for what you do and how you do it are endless, and it is ultimately upto you to figure out what to do next. Think of the journey as test driving yourself. The experiences and memories of your trip will be your fondest ever, particularly for this journey of self discovery.
Meeting new people is another great feature of solo travel. I recall chatting with a Japanese archaeologist who was renovating the Ta Som temple complex, a Cambodian girl of about eight who defeated me thrice at a game of noughts & crosses after I refused to buy souveneir post-cards from her and a perverted American slob who followed middle-aged women around temples. Each encounter offers you tit-bits of information or act as windows to a seperate world. The Japanese girl told me how deeply involved the Indian Government is with restoration work in Cambodian temples and Japanese monuments, a fact that left me walking a little taller. The Cambodian girl taught me how futile it is engaging in circular logic with children in poor countries, who sharpen their skills to ensure survival. Not only did I lose in noughts & crosses, I also ended up buying the post-cards out of embarassment. And the American? He just made me realise how lucky I was not to be a middle-aged woman.
The best part about traveling alone is the sense of control you have over what you want to do and how you want to do it. There is no boss asking you to conform to a particular format, no spouse telling you to behave in a certain manner and no norms requiring you to conduct yourself accordingly. The ability to make the smallest of decisions, many of which are affected by other people or by social norms in everyday lives, is an intoxicating power. I decided to commute around Siem Reap on the back of a motorcycle and eat Thai food everyday at every meal, luxuries I would probably not enjoy if I had traveled with family (who prefer cars) or friends (who prefer variety).
I can emphatize with travelers who are hesitant to travel alone because they are either scared of boring themselves or apprehensive of how their trip will be; afterall, I was in the same boat as them before I took off for Cambodia. Well researched trips, where you plan the key attractions to see and the approximate number of days to stay, can alleviate the fear of boredom. It is also very hard to get bored as a tourist in a brand new place. Your hotel desk, your taxi driver and your destination guide will always have something interesting to offer you. As for being apprehensive about how the trip will go, there really is no way to find out till you take the plunge. It is this leap of faith that makes solo travel as exciting as it is.
Finally, there is no age to travel alone nor is there any particular time of life when you should consider going. Rather, you should do it as soon as you can take the time off and muster the required enthusiasm, for the only thing you will regret is not going sooner.
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